A "USELESS" LETTER TO MAHAMA AYARIGA

Dear Honorable Ayariga,

I believe congratulations are still in order over what you consider a remarkable performance in Equatorial Guinea. Of course I can understand you, it was your first major assignment as a Sports Minister so you can pat yourself at the back and sing praises to yourself but for some of us it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. If you have any idea Ghana’s rich history and pedigree in football on the African continent you would clearly understand that placing second is no achievement.

That said Mr Ayariga, let me quickly move on to why I write this letter, I have listened to the interview you had with the Adom Fm morning show host where you referred to his questions as useless, in fact I have recorded it and I listen anytime I am getting too carried away of the system we have (just to remind myself we have a long way to go so I don’t have to be complacent). Indeed I can understand you when you say they are useless questions.

And so Mr Minister I’d say forget about all the journalists asking you useless questions. My guess is they don’t know you are a minister of state and so you are not answerable to journalists. They might as well be unaware that King Solomon Ayariga only answers “useful” questions. Has he, I mean that Asempa Fm journalist any idea how privileged it is to get an interview with a minister (public servant). How the heck did he even expect the sector minister, the man who is responsible for securing money from government’s coffers to break down the various components on radio for the good people of Ghana to understand?

I was too young or perhaps not born to see all the sports ministers before the NPP administration in 2000 and so please forgive me if I am unable to give any account of their work. But at least the little I saw of all the Sports ministers who have plagued the Sports ministry from 2000 clearly demonstrates how wonderful you are doing.

You are yet to go a full year at the ministry (even though that’s highly unexpected in that ministry) but you have so far successfully relegated all other sports to the periphery with no serious commitment to raising the about 36 other sporting disciplines close to the level of the football. That is what they call “continuity” isn’t it?

Your predecessor Honorable Afriyie Ankrah was quite phenomenal at that too, promoting football especially the Black Stars at the expense of all others and you are doing wonderfully well in that endeavor.

Sir, now back to the question the journalist raised.

Don’t mind clueless journalists like Captain Smart. He and his likes are not auditors, are they?

How exactly do they even expect you to give a meaningful explanation to an expenditure of about 17 million Ghana cedis for a tournament whose winner receives a little over 4 million Ghana cedis? Clearly that makes no value-for-money sense.

Indeed that was a useless question. How did he possibly expect you to give an account on how much was spent on food? Of course he forgot you are the Minister and so you are not answerable to journalists.

Perhaps he thought you were going to burst out like Honorable Afriyie Ankrah but now it all makes sense why President John Mahama placed you at the ministry. To deal with all useless questions that seeks to probe into government expenditure on lost causes like the Black Stars.

What most people don’t get is that an AFCON trophy will solve all our problems as Ghanaians. The moment we end the 33 year drought, grassroots football will flourish, community training parks will spring up, colts will redeem its lost glory, the local league will see a massive improvement in attendance, sponsorship will increase from the paltry sum to something more substantial, and all other national teams will be revamped. That is the magic an AFCON trophy brings but most Ghanaians don’t know. So yes! They will continue to ask useless questions.

Finally Honorable Minister, you know what sir, next time when a journalist calls, to avoid all these useless questions please do well to pen down all the sensible and useful questions so that you can comfortably answer them yourself. Clearly you have demonstrated your knowledge of how proper journalism should be and have done a good work at proving that indeed you are the bastion of wisdom and any question that makes you comfortable is useless.

Yours faithfully,

Karim Unda Gh

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                                                                                                                                Ibrahim Abdul Karim

TWENTY14

Contrary to what many expect, I shall not attempt a recap of all events of 2014 for three reasons,                                 1. My lazy ass won’t allow me

                2. I do not have the capacity, time and space to do that

                3. I am a firm believer of let bygones be by bygones (terms and conditions apply).

Let me however hasten to add that if you are still interested in getting a reminder of what 2014 had to offer from the missing Airliners to the missing musicians (Castro), through to the death of some big personalities (KomlaDumor), from Ghana’s World cup fiasco, to whatever your area of interest then the newsstand should be of help, because indeed the various newspapers have started cashing in on that. If you are a TV person too, you know what to do and if you like Radio like I do then CITI FM captures it like no other.

The CITI FM angle of this whole 2014 phenomenon is what I shall attempt a reproduction of in this article.

So why not start with the;

CATCH PHRASE OF THE YEAR

Indeed 2014 saw a number of those words or phrases that became household names and were on the lips of almost everyone, the rich the poor the young, old, strong, weak etc. I bet you still remember Guru’s “boysabre”, what about Lumba’s “yentieobiaa”, the latest kid on the block “kpakpakpa movement” and 2014 is almost over and we still don’t know who really said “tweaaa”. So if I ask you to choose one of the above as your catch phrase of the year,what would it be?

CRY BABY OF THE YEAR

I trust you still remember the Justice Dzamefe Commission that was tasked to investigate Ghana’s poor performance at the world cup. And I trust you do same for the many that appeared before it notably the former Minister of Black Stars Affairs, sorry former Minister of Sports and something something, (can you really blame me since these days all they do is talk about Black Stars?) If you do remember him then I guess you remember also the point where the Justice ordered all cameramen to move away.

Haha that was when he was busily wetting his handkerchief with tears, and the Justice went like ; “ oh honorable don’t be emotional, oh stop please don’t get emotional, please counsell(at this time speaking to AfriyieAnkrah’s lawyer) should we give you some time to console your client? Hahahah the Justice’s approach was understandable, he didn’t want to be blunt about the old man weeping and at this point I felt like he was teasing AfriyieAnkrah with his whole “don’t get emotional” thing.

Okk so what about the other counterpart, the former Adentan MP, Mr Swagger Papa aka MrAduAsare. Indeed Justice Dzamefe and his colleagues made the Commission turn into a funeral ground. One, two, three questions and AduAsare was all over the place weeping like a kindergarten boy who has been caught writing a love letter.

Is KT Hammond’s mom still dying? He got me very emotional that day when he started lamenting and crying about why he would steal $3.5 million of state money and that because of the allegations his mother was dying. Was that a question? There’s every reason you would steal that money because its $3.5 million. Duhhh!!!!!!!!!. And so he also appeared before the Sole Commissioner and started crying like his counterparts because he’s been alleged to have stolen State money. (thanks God for modern day style of writing I can now afford to let my readers know at this point I am smh, shaking my heard)

While I do not take delight in people’s woes, I cannot deny the fact that these were spectacles to behold and if I asked you to choose which of the above should win Cry Baby Of the Year Award, who would it be?

                                                                                      

KNOCKOUT OF THE YEAR

So after all the noise by Nana OheneNtow about Alan Kyeremanteng’s readiness to unseat Nana AkuufoAddo as the flag bearer of the NPP, coupled with some logically pathetic arguments about how some village of 10 people in the North welcomed Alan Kyeremanteng with joy and ecstasy and so if people in such a remote place know Alan then of course he’s bound to be president forgetting it takes more than that to even win a school prefect position. The results of the primaries saw what many political commentators described as rape by AkuffoAddo. That was to suggest that even though many expected a win for Nana Addo, the thought of such margin was not conceivable.So bottom-line, Alan Kyeremateng was knocked out.

After months of media hype the bout that pundits said could go down in history as the most talked about non-title bout in Ghana went down. The ring was opened finally for the boxing bout of two of Ghana’s most popular “boxing comedians”BukomBanku and Ayittey Powers. The brouhaha and of course the theatrics spiced up the whole thing with the bout nearly being cancelled after Ayittey Powers’ visit to the renowned pastor TB Joshua. Apparently he went with the hopes that the Holy Spirit would cause the Spiritual leader to send clues of how the bout will go through his usual prophesies but that was not to be. This then became quite scary for Powers but eventually the bout came off. That day in the Accra Sports Stadium witnessed a sad incident where almost every Ghanaian including the former President JJ Rawlings and his wife sat by as BukkomBanku physically assaulted Ayittey Powers in the name of boxing. I still maintain BukomBanku should be arrested for that assault. Hahaha.

And so even though it wasn’t a technical knockout by boxing rules, whoever watched the bout would understand that indeed the Bukom-Ayittey bout qualifies nonetheless to be in this category.

The poor show by Ghana at the World Cup, the ridiculous act of flying about 4 million dollars on a chartered plane to Brazil among others were not enough to disgrace Ghana and Ghanaians. Then came another blockbuster of a news, “SulleyMuntari struck Moses Parker a hefty blow to the cheek to send him landing on the ground”, another knockout.

So who would it be, Nana Addo,BukomBanku or Sulley Ali Muntari.

NSEMHUNU/NSEMFOO/NKWASEASEM/NONSENSE OF THE YEAR

If by now you have more than one person or a different person apart from the one I shall mention in mind, then it’s either the other person is mad or you deserve the award yourself. If there is anyone especially a parliamentarian in modern day Ghana who is 500 years late into civilization and still hold views of pre-medieval times then of course to say he deserves this award would be most appropriate. We woke up one morning to hear a member of parliament advocate for the hanging and stoning of what he termed “adulterous women”, knowing very well such women don’t commit adultery with trees but of course women are a lesser breed of humans, aren’t they?

Mr Nelson Abudu Bani, Member of Parliament for Daboya deserves this award without doubt. Those comments of his in 2014 undoubtedly were the nsemhunu/nsemfoo and above all the nkwaseasem of the year.

You could yours in the comment box but that is my Twenty14. May 2015 bring us good luck. Happy New year y’all.

WONDERS OF LEGONLAND

Episode 2

THE MYSTERIOUS SARBAH GUTTER

Ok so if you have neither fallen nor seen someone fall or heard of someone having fallen into or around that small gutter behind Sarbah Hall on the path leading to the Night market then am sorry, you are not in Legon.

And so when about 3 weeks ago my roomie came back with serious bruises all over his legs, I thought it was injuries he sustained in one of his basketball games only to be told that he fell at the mercy of the Sarbah gutter. That meant his story was the second I was hearing after a close friend of another roomie recounted his ordeal or better still his encounter with the gutter barely a week before.

As if those were not enough, there’s the story of one of the current Chiefs of the Vandal City (whose name I will keep for another day) and a host of others am aware of. An attempt to find out more only revealed that the gutter has been bringing people down on their knees for decades now, often with special interest in those who are well dressed.

In fact there are those that believe there’s some sort of ghost there that pushes people to fall down, but as to why a ghost will do that only God knows. The sad stories of the beautifully dressed legon girls and that of the elegantly “shoto-ed” UG guys who have been made to return to their halls to redress amidst all the humiliation are countless.

Indeed the worst part is not the falling down itself but getting up to realize that people are in fact looking at you, the fact that the gentlemen in Gonja and Okpo will be cheering you up with thunderous claps as you gather courage to get up and clean up yourself, the trouble in having to trek back to your hall to change, especially if you are from the four new halls (diaspora) and the shame in having to look into the eyes of your boyfriend or girlfriend to say “sorry” are.

I know most people share in these stories and others will not find it strange but the fact that, that little scene despite all the awareness created about it all these years, still remains Legon’s hottest accident spot fascinates me. Surprisingly enough there are two gutters there but only one is noted for doing the damage- the other has quite a gentle soul and kind heart.

So my advice is that anytime you approach that gutter, if its Allahu Akbar say it, if it’s the sign of the crucifix feel free do it, whatever your faith, because you will need it. If you have not fallen into that gutter yet don’t be too happy, maybe it’s just not your time. The little I know about the Ghost in that gutter is that, he’s got no mercy. 

WONDERS OF LEGONLAND

If you are not in Legon you might find this difficult to understand but it is and they are (subsequent episodes to come) a true reflection of the wonders in the larger society. They might not be the most important of things hence the obvious lack of attention but I should expect after you read this piece and the subsequent ones, you would come to terms with the fact that, despite the difference in (campuses) or whichever society you find yourself these wonders of Legonland cut across.

Obviously any attempt to headcount the numerous incomprehensible and mysterious phenomena in Legon would reveal over a thousand of those. But undoubtedly you should realize that if you know your Legon well, the first thing that would come to mind will be the ;

EPISODE ONE

The beans (gobe) seller at the Night Market.

For whatever reasons best known to those who patronize Daavi’s beans, (including my good self) the thought of passing by Daavi to buy gobe from any other seller is highly unlikely. Her small sheath under which she sells is often characterized with an unending, serpentaneous and at times zigzag queues which normally causes problems for the other sellers close by.

The sight of hundreds of people standing around your table with none interested in what you sell could be devastating. And so I wasn’t surprised when once a woman shouted at me to leave her chair and concentrate on my queue, (poor me I was so hungry and weak that I needed something to hold on to, meanwhile there was another beans seller with no one to attend to).

Till date, why students returning from lectures with hunger and fatigue written boldly all over them would decide to join a queue of over 200 people just to buy gobe worth of 2 cedis50 pessewas(normally how much we all buy) still remains a mystery. Funny thing is, that is the only place in Ghana where the LADIES FIRST rule doesn’t apply, and literally speaking there’s no gentleman there because if you are a lady and you come you would have to be in the queue patiently till it’s your time.

I cannot end this gobe episode without again expressing my surprise over why after Daavi deciding to add another attendant to ensure the quick flow of traffic at her joint, people would still want to get congested in the queue directed at Daavi’s services while the other woman virtually stands idle.

Ah well perhaps I would have understood if there was a difference in taste between Daavi’s beans and the others but having tasted the others before I am unable to draw such conclusions (they all taste the same). Yet myself and all the gobe lovers of Legon choose to be in Daavi’s long queue for some mysterious reasons.

Well I don’t know about you but why I still join a queue to buy from Daavi even when am so hungry, tired and stressed even though I have an alternative of buying from someone with no one to attend to, still remains a question unanswered.

So I should think by now even if you are not in Legon you have realized there is a certain Daavi in your community, she might not be a beans seller, perhaps she sells the hottest waakye, rice, fufu etc that many can’t avoid but bottom-line is there’s a particular food you cannot stop buying and you may never really understand why you buy it anyways.

A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE TO HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN DRAMANI MAHAMA

Happy birthday to you ................ 4x

How old are you now ..................4x

May God bless you now ..............4x

Indeed it is only right that I start with this conventional birthday song. Glad I didn’t have to do this orally because I have quite a nice voice I assure you.

I trust I am the millionth person to wish you a happy birthday but nonetheless I do it anyway with all the seriousness and happiness it deserves. Even though I would have loved to be in the league of the few privileged ones who can just pick their phones to call you and relay their message directly but we aren’t all the same, are we? It’s normal I understand.

Mr President am I allowed to ask how you plan to celebrate this day? With your family and friends and some dignitaries I guess? Interesting! Will all your children be available? I would love to be there to see their number for myself, I have heard you have quite a number, but that’s the hallmark of a real man right? A real man is the one who has many kids and more importantly can cater for them, am I right? Or isn’t that what our people say? hahahahah. By extension you are the father of over 25 million people (even though am not so sure about how well you are looking after them) but I trust the 17 or so if am correct that are biologically yours are having a good time.

And your birthday party sir, if any, I trust it will be a buffet (serve-yourself). Indeed I would love to be there too but again we aren’t all allowed, are we? Yea I understand.

But do you really know that people like me wouldn’t have given a damn about when your birthday falls or better still if you really had one if not for the position you hold. I should think by now per the dictates of diplomacy almost all presidents across the world through their ambassadors and high commissioners have sent you a birthday message. I do not know what work you did before you entered into politics or better still became a president but I doubt if you would have attracted such profile goodwill messages from across the world, so you should be grateful to God.

But more importantly it should remind you of the greater responsibility as a president. As you enjoy your birthday party, take a sip of your (I don’t know your favorite drink but I trust it’s a very expensive wine most likely imported for this occasion) take time to reflect on the many who have put their care in your hands just so one day they can also invite a couple of friends to celebrate their birthday with or just so one day their children can also enjoy a good life.

Mr President I trust the party will be in the night, because normally that’s when everyone has closed from work and the family is home to relax. But have you made provisions for a stand-by generator? Or wait, you do not experience dumsor dumsor at the Presidential palace, am I right? Oh great! That makes sense because I know even the Burma Camp doesn’t experience dumsor dumsor so how much more the Commander-in-Chief himself. (hahahah ECG dares not). Indeed some are more fearsome than others. That’s fair enough.

Ah well where I scribble this goodwill message from, I stand the threat of learning in darkness as I prepare for a more important task of learning for my exams, (obviously that’s more important than your party). But never mind I just want to say that as you enjoy your birthday take some time to reflect over the power crisis in the country. Your creation of a Power Ministry with the hope of ending this problem still remains ridiculous to me but I pray it works out perfectly fine for us all.

I hope am not deviating. Indeed I wish you well, I pray for God’s blessings and long life for you and your family. More importantly I pray for wisdom and clear vision to see things the way Ghanaians do because clearly after your ascension to the high office your vision has been blurred to some extent. I liked how you saw things when you were in opposition. You seemed to be very critical of the then government and had solutions to virtually all the problems back then. Power, Energy, Health, Economy, Corruption etc but it appears the only thing you have succeeded in doing is compounding all these problems and making it more difficult for whoever will come after you.

I know just like any other President your intentions for this country are genuine and borne out of the commitment and dedication to serve (that’s what they all say). I do not think the problems we face now were in your manifesto, you never promised those things (in fact if it were, then you would have succeeded in becoming the most accomplished president ever) and so your desire to see us leap out of our problems can never be in doubt. But the reality is that we still are in the same mess.

The state of the NHIS is not funny anymore. I thought you said free SHS education in 2012 was a rush and unrealistic and that progressively free SHS was the way to go more importantly preceded by access and quality. So what happened to cause an announcement of a free SHS in 2015 only a year after being in power? The 200 day senior high schools you promised I guess, or that’s your definition of progressive? I see. Ahuh! So what’s happened to those schools, 50 yearly we were told, I am not so good at math but we should be having about a 100 now if am not wrong. What about the changing of the Polytechnics to technical Universities?

And so you see why you don’t even have time to waste on celebrating and receiving birthday messages? You have work to do Mr President.

As for corruption we know you didn’t introduce it, it’s been there since Adam was a living being but undoubtedly we know it has hit a record high under your watch. Of course the usual corruption rhyme of (GYEEDA, SUBA, SADA etc) will always hunt you. And your commitment to fighting it at least by word of mouth has been impressive but the real actions on the ground, am sorry! I hate to say you have failed but as at now indeed you have. Again you see the more reason why you need God’s wisdom more than anything on this day?

I won’t go any further Mr. President. It’s your birthday please enjoy. You are not an evil man. In fact you have done some great things too except that these are more pressing and deserve more attention. Besides the things you have achieved are your promises and responsibility so, we shouldn’t really be singing praises all over the place when you fulfill them, should we? Just like Balotelli, “scoring is my responsibility, so why run to celebrate when I score a goal” so he explains, and I subscribe to every word in that.

And so I pray for Long life, I pray for good health, wisdom and blessings of God for you on this day but please do take some time to reflect on the bigger picture.

Enjoy yourself Sir.

Have a nice day.

Once again Happy Happy Happy birthday Mr. President.

THE NAAYELE COCAINE RUNDOWN, my own perspective.

And so the queen of AKAs, Ruby Naayele Ametefe, AKA Ruby Angel , AKA Ruby Adu Gyamfi,  AKA Ruby Mahama ‘ AKA Cleopatra etc didn’t only succeed in diverting the attentions of Ghanaians from the budget and the creation of a Power Ministry she also successfully got our parliamentarians HIGH on cocaine –because that’s the only meaningful explanation to the disgraceful act by the parliamentarians on the day of the budget debate.

The convention in Ghana for some time now has been that every month we get an interesting issue for the good people of Ghana to feed on, talk wholeheartedly about it, get journalists busy on, bloggers like myself blogging, politicians scoring cheap political points and soon enough we are done with it and we hop onto another.

I do not have enough space to take you  through a history class on GYEEDA, SUBA, SADA etc and the numerous cases that made the headlines for months in this country. But a reflection on the past month would reveal a number of those stories. From the National Service Secretariat rot, through to the CHRAJ boss Laureta Lampteys’s infamous hotel expenses, to the Speaker of parliament’s refusal to sign the oath of office etc, one would realize that in all these cases, Ghanaians had the chance uninterrupted to do what we do best, make a whole lot of noise about it and move on to another without necessarily proffering   any serious solutions. Interesting!

Now but for Angel of Cocaine the lenses of Ghanaians would be on the budget and the new Power Ministry. But I guess it’s a huge relief for government communicators who would have been burdened with the daunting task of defending this rather ridiculous solution to our problem. As for the political communicators, government critics and the opposition who waited patiently to draw more attention on this just so they can take time to devour and ridicule government on this matter, too bad for them. 

Nonetheless genuine questions should be asked , Is the creation of a new ministry the way to go? Per what we have heard from government over the period, creating a new ministry as an end to power outages was the last thing I was expecting. Were we not here in this country when names like Atuabo and how many megawatts they were bringing on board among others were mentioned any time power issues were raised. So what happened? Government communicators are quick to mention that Nigeria has a Power Ministry; question once again is, Is Nigeria any better at providing electricity? Clearly not, so the situation doesn’t lie in further burdening the state wallet with such duplication of duties? The only thing we are going to do is find some more V8s for people to drive around with and we are done.

And our Minority  in parliament too, my word! They are just ready to hop on to any issue that seeks to enhance their political fortunes. They employ various tactics, some very petty at times.  And so I wasn’t surprised when honorable Minority Leader Dominic Nitiwul got so HIGH on Ruby’s Cocaine and came to the parliament to display such cheap political tactics with bags of rice to demonstrate the cocaine saga in a debate on the budget. Disgraceful!  What was the correlation? Worse of it all it wasn’t even a locally manufactured rice, as usual it was a Chinese rice. Holy Mary!

Now when such shameful acts happen and you expect the Majority to do the right thing, that’s when they sing their favorite “sorry to disappoint you” song once again. They also employed their BUGA BUGA tactics and turned the nation’s parliament upside down with the Speaker of Parliament shouting ORDER ORDER like ‘a tired-underpaid-goiter-stricken-nursery-school-madam’ trying so hard to control a loose day nursery class in a crowded slum. I have even heard others liken the act to the popular “akyem police birds” gracefully feeding in a rice plantation and if that’s not under the influence of Ruby’s cocaine, then I doubt what it is.

But Cleopatra though, I mean Ruby Angel Cocaine, she can really disappoint you know. If the words of the Foreign Minister Hannah Tetteh is anything to go by concerning the lady’s statement that she thought it was gold. Really?? Despite their rather illegal acts, I have always held a strong admiration for the smartness and intelligence of drug peddlers and barons. But given the rather naïve account from Ruby Naayele, I am tempted to think they are not smart after all. Unless of course Hanna Tetteh was, to put bluntly, lying, I do not know how Ruby expected that to fly. Totally ridiculous and annoyingly naïve. If she worked for my cartel, she would have found her dismissal letter at the door of her prison cell the next day.

But all in all whether she had strong political support or not, whether she used VIP or VVIP serious questions have been raised about our security and Ghana’s image has been dented to a degree with regard to our commitment to the global fight against drugs.

I must conclude however sarcastic that, I have tried carrying something in the league of the cocaine’s weight and I have realized it’s not an easy job. Till date I struggle to carry two bags of “pure water” without halting to catch a breath every ten steps along the way and so for Naayele to succeed in carrying a 12 kg worth of the world’s most illegal drug through no mean airport than Heathrow without blinking an eye ( of course until when her luck ran out), it is my humble plea that after her prison term, which I know will be a long one, the Weight Lifting Association of Ghana should give her a call, who knows maybe, she might secure us a gold in the Olympic games.

THE THREE MOST GHANAIAN MOMENTS

Undoubtedly there are millions of things that bring Ghanaians together and make it what it is. From our festivals to other cultural practices. From our celebration of Independence Day to the joy of marriage ceremonies and the smiles that blow across our communities when a new member emerges.

But there are three moments I have come to realize lead the pack in the numerous things that bring Ghanaians together. Good or bad, whether we fight and insult one another, after we are betrayed and divided by our politics etc, no matter the degree we come together in unison by some reflex action of a sort to express a common feeling, normally gathering all the energy, the happiness or the disappointment within us.

Number One is when the Electricity Company of Ghana “does the thing”(dumsor dumsor). The constant power outages in Ghana have to come to be a normal occurrence and a culture the Ghanaian people have had to grapple with. And so as soon as the lights go off, depending on where you find yourself you would hear male and female, young and old, shout on top their voice with disappointment written all over it OOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!! ECG. This would normally be accompanied with a barrage of insults and curses on ECG, and you can trust that President John Mahama or whoever is the president at the time would have his fair share of the insults and curses (hahahaha obviously because this is a country where people even scream the name of the President when they break a glass)

From wherever you are whether you have lights or not, when you hear such loud screams OOOOOOHHHH ECG!!!!!, you should know what just happened, except of course you are not a Ghanaian. This is a moment every Ghanaian identifies with.

Any attempt to play the ignoramus to ask WHY WHATS GOING ON? Will only solicit one answer. ARE YOU THE ONLY STRANGER IN GHANA? At that moment I’d advise you don’t ask a follow-up question because that’s likely to earn you a blow on your cheek because obviously it would be viewed as a deliberate attempt to frustrate the person.

Number two on the list is quite obvious isn’t it?

Normally not even “light off” by ECG can stop Ghanaians from shouting GOAL!!!!!!!!!and getting on the streets to celebrate . Because when the Black Stars of Ghana play even the radio is enough to get all Ghanaians seated.

Boys or Girls even those who don’t know how a football looks like, define their ‘Ghanaianness’ once when a ball enters the post in favor of Ghana. It is then you would see people running out of their rooms to the streets amidst loud cheers of GOAL, with car horns hooting all over. And when we eventually win the game, the joy bursts out and the streets get flooded, sellers hit the jackpot and some of us get the longest and deepest hugs there are(refer to the street cameras of the streets of Konongo in 2008 when Ghana beat Nigeria 2-1 in AFCON 2008 quarter finals)

Obviously in all football games be it Uefa Champions League, English Premier league, World Cup etc when goals are scored you hear people scream and shout goal, but anytime you hear   GOALLLLLLLL that transcends beyond the boundaries of your neighborhood, make no mistake and don’t get it twisted, the Black Stars have scored and Ghanaians are happy, So get out there and request for anything you need. I assure you, you’ll get it. Try hugs first, you’ll love it.

And finally another Ghanaian moment that almost everyone associates with is when the ECG finally does the honorable thing and restores the lights. Here you wouldn’t hear an OHHHHHH ECG, neither would you hear GOALLLLLL, but when you hear a massive and loud YAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!! anywhere in a community in Ghana, make no mistake the lights are back.

Ghanaians are a wonderful people aren’t they? Even though they have been denied lights for decades and it’s virtually become a right to have electricity the gratitude they show when incompetence is corrected is amazing.

Sad thing is when they do their YAAAYYYYYYY over the restoration of the lights, President John Mahama gets lost from the picture. The insults are not withdrawn and the curses on ECG continues to stand. Hahahahahha

So whether its OHHHHH ECG!!!!!!! that brings disappointed, grief, insults and curses or a GOAL!!!!!!!!from the Black Stars that brings joy and happiness or YAAAYYYYY!!!!!!  that signifies a restoration of lights and normalcy , the wonder with which everyone joins in these celebrations and disappointment in their individual homes by some (reflex action so to speak) only reinforces the Ghanaianness in us. 

I love Ghana.